Update Me
by kayctus
Summary: She's allergic to sunlight. She's afraid of… goats—ghosts, she means ghosts. She DOESN'T like her stepbrother (I mean, who DOES? Psh, seriously, you people are SICK)—no matter what Onion-head or Don't-call-me-Tentacles-Luka says. ; —Rin's life told through the madness of the internet, random text messages and creepy sticky-notes. Rin/Len, other pairings
1. Psychics, lunch dates and karaoke

**Update Me** / She's allergic to sunlight. She's afraid of… goats—ghosts, she means ghosts. She DOESN'T like her stepbrother (I mean, who DOES? Psh, seriously, you people are SICK)—no matter what Onion-head or Don't-call-me-Tentacles-Luka says. ; —Rin's life told through the madness of the internet, random text messages and creepy sticky-notes. / **Romance & Humour** / **Rated T** / **Rin K. & Len K.** / **Rin/Len, and other pairings**

**A/N:** I'm pretty reluctant as to posting this… like a lot of things… but whatever. I wasted my time typing this, so, I'm not letting it rot in my pile of ever-growing unfinished stories and documents. I'll regret this later, though /wipes wistful tears

Now we're all going to clap and say, 'Oh look, a multi-chapter, unoriginal fan-fiction from kayctus. Yay.' Then we'll cry later because this is most likely a whim and will never be updated. It's called trolling, my friends.

MOSTLY TYPED UP WHEN I HAD NO INTERNET, BECAUSE MY SISTER DECIDED TO SOMEHOW BREAK IT (She was actually trying to unjam the printer. And then she turned off the power. AND IT MAKES NO SENSE.)

**Warning:** FLAME-WORTHY, PURPOSELY-GRAMMAR-FAILED WRITING AHEAD, AND AN OVERDOSE OF ALL-CAPS AND TEENAGE RAGING. DON'T LIKE IT? DON'T READ IT.

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**Update Me**

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_Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Twitter.  
(Unknown)_

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**tumblr**

Email: rin-the-bomb-diggs

Password: kagamine1227rin

**Log in**

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_Logging in…_

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**You have two unread messages.**

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_the-awesome-and-almighty-miku:_ WHY DO YOU NEVER COME ON TUMBLR, BITCH

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_Len-the-banana-man: _What's your favourite colour again?

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_Reply to the-awesome-and-almighty-miku:_ UH BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE, UNLIKE YOU. ANYWAY, IS IT NECESSARY TO CALL ME A BITCH, ONION-FACE?

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_Reply to Len-the-banana-man:_ You've been living in the same house as me for FOUR YEARS, Len. _FOUR YEARS_. Yet you still haven't noticed that my room is mainly saffron. **It's **_**SAFFRON**_.

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_Your replies have been posted._

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_Logging out…_

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**You have received a text message from Len My Ugly Stepbrother.**

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 12/1/13 10:34PM

**Received:** 12/1/13 10:35PM

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How was _I_ supposed to know that when you don't even let me within a five metre radius of your room, Rin? _How? _I'm not psychic. Well, not in this lifetime, anyway.

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 12/1/13 10:37PM

**Received:** 12/1/13 10:37PM

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…What? Why are we talking about my room? And yes you are. YOU KNOW VERY WELL YOU ARE, LEN. IT'S JUST A SECRET. You speak to the dead every night and channel spirits to make my life a living nightmare. AND THEN YOU EXORCISE DEMONS FOR GAYPOO, BECAUSE GAYPOO CAN'T DO SHIT AND WE ALL KNOW THAT. INCLUDING TENTACLES.

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**To: **Rin

**From: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 12/1/13 10:43PM

**Received:** 12/1/13 10:43PM

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Jesus, Rin. Remember the question I asked you on tumblr? The six-month-late one you were supposed to answer _last year_ but you answered just _now?_ Yes. That. And I'm going to ignore your last comment, because now you're just being unreasonable. BY THE WAY, WHO THE HECK ARE GAYPOO AND TENTACLES?! Are they your multiple personalities or something?

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 12/1/13 10:45PM

**Received: **12/1/13 10:46PM

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Len, you could have just come downstairs and told me that. I'm in the study. I mean, are you really that retarded to not be able to move from your fat ass and reply that way? HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE REAL WORLD, LEN? And six months is _not _late. Psh.

Gaypoo is Gakupo—Tentacles is Luka. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE. I mean, is your mind elsewhere when you're sitting with us at lunch? BECAUSE LUKA AND I BRAWL ABOUT HER NICKNAME ALL THE TIME. I think one of our best brawls ended up with spaghetti on your shirt. You had a stain on the back of it all day. It was awesome.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 12/1/13 10:48PM

**Received: **12/1/13 10:48PM

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HOW WOULD I KNOW YOU ARE IN THE STUDY? I mean, you could be on the Moon for all I know. And… I'm not going to argue with you about that, because I _know _you know it was late.

Uh, and do you ever notice I actually _study_ at lunch? So, _no._ I never pay attention to your stupid brawls with Luka.

Oh right, that spaghetti stain...

…so _that's _where it came from. Wait, you _knew_ it was there but you didn't bother to tell me? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? NO WONDER PEOPLE KEPT LOOKING AT ME WEIRDLY ALL DAY.

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 12/1/13 10:56PM

**Received:** 12/1/13 10:56PM

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Duh. You're psychic. You _should_ know. (And no, there is never a time too late, Len.)

Oh my god… YOU STUDY? _AT LUNCH?_ It's a _miracle!_ Actually, no. What kind of loser studies at lunch? AND I DIDN'T BOTHER TELLING YOU BECAUSE IT MADE MATHEMATICS INTERESTING. MIKU COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING, SHE WAS SNOTTING EVERYWHERE. It was great. I even got it on camera for blackmail.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 12/1/13 10:57PM

**Received:** 12/1/13 10:57PM

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I… What. WHERE DOES THIS PSYCHIC THEORY COME FROM?

Well yes, I study so I don't have to do it at home. SO THEN I DON'T END UP CRAMMING THE NIGHT BEFORE, LIKE YOU DO.

By the way, you _suck_. I can't believe we sit at the same lunch table and you don't even notice that I've got my head stuck in textbooks all the time.

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 12/1/13 10:59PM

**Received:** 12/1/13 11:00PM

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FROM MY ASS, LEN. FROM MY ASS.

Oh… well, I can't argue against that. YOU ACTUALLY HAVE PROVEN A POINT FOR ONCE. CONGRATULATIONS, LEN.

And I don't _suck_. Psh, I know you love me. I KNOW YOU DO. YOU WANT ME ALL OVER YOUR BODY, SCREAMING YOUR NAME.

But we all know that will never happen in a million years, because I don't date nerdy, puny boys that are related to me.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 12/1/13 11:03PM

**Received: **12/1/13 11:03PM

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KEEP IT IN YOUR BUTTOCKS, THEN.

And I… what, I don't love you—what the hell, Rin? I just… THIS CONVERSATION IS GETTING WEIRD, SO I'M GOING TO LIE AND SAY I HAVE A LUNCH DATE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND. GOODBYE.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 12/1/13 11:05PM

**Received:** 12/1/13 11:05PM

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I MEAN, GOODNIGHT.

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 12/1/13 11:06PM

**Received:** 12/1/13 11:06PM

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YEAH, RUN AWAY LOVER BOY. RUN AWAY.

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**Welcome to Facebook!**

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Email: rin-the-bomb-diggs

Password: RINISAWESOME2712

**Log in**

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_Logging in…_

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**You have four notifications.**

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**Miku Hatsune – Rin Kagamine:** DID YOU HIDE THE BODIES

– _Kaito Shion, Rin Kagamine and 6 others liked this_

(Posted 2 hours ago)

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**Rin Kagamine:** YES, UNDER Len Kagamine's BED.

– _Kaito Shion, Miku Hatsune and Rin Kagamine liked this_

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**Miku Hatsune:** FANTASTIC. THE NEXT CULLING SHALL COMMENCE AT 3AM.

– _Rin Kagamine liked this_

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**Len Kagamine:** Was it necessary to tag me?

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**Rin Kagamine:** I thought you were on your lunch date with your non-existent girlfriend.

– _Miku Hatsune, Kaito Shion and 2 others liked this_

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**Miku Hatsune:** Len is on a lunch date? With a non-existent girl? _At eleven o'clock at night?_ Blasphemy!

– _Rin Kagamine, Kaito Shion and Luka Megurine liked this_

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**Len Kagamine:** I'm… actually in a different time zone.

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**Rin Kagamine:** Yes, your bedroom. It's always lunchtime there.

– _Miku Hatsune, Rin Kagamine and 3 others liked this_

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**You have one new friend request from Piko Utatane**

Accept ・Ignore

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**Luka Megurine has tagged you in a comment: **Oh, you mean Rin Kagamine Len Kagamine

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**Len Kagamine has tagged you in a comment:** Good luck with that. I'm just going to be in my abode if you need help tying down the raging night fury Rin Kagamine

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**Miku Hatsune – Luka Megurine:** YOU, ME, KAITO, GAKUPO TO KARAOKE ON FRIDAY AT 3PM

LET'S TRY GET TWEEDLE DEE AND TWEEDLE DUM TO COME TOO.

I MEAN, LET'S TRY HOOK THEM UP. IN A SUBTLE, COOL WAY.

– _Miku Hatsune, Luka Megurine and 2 others liked this_

(Posted 6 hours ago)

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**Luka Megurine:** Oh, you mean Rin Kagamine Len Kagamine

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**Miku Hatsune:** NUUU, DON'T LET THEM SEE THIS LUKA!1!1 Especially Rin D':

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**Len Kagamine:** Good luck with that. I'm just going to be in my abode if you need help tying down the raging night fury Rin Kagamine

– _Luka Megurine and Kaito Shion liked this_

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**Kaito Shion:** as long as there's ice-cream available, I'm all in :)

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**Luka Megurine:** Kaito, one simple question – _why?_

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**Kaito Shion:** because ice-cream is necessary. always.

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**Miku Hatsune:** YES KAITO, THERE WILL BE ICE-CREAM. As for you, Len Kagamine, YOU'RE COMING REGARDLESS. You are the only one who can save us from Rin's anger and spitfire.

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**Len Kagamine:** Why _me?_

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**Miku Hatsune:** Because you two are destined to be together, BY THE GODS AND THE UNIVERSE AND THE FLOWERS AND BUTTERFLIES AND MY PIANO. Like seriously, YOU TWO BELONG TOGETHER LIKE… LIKE MONEY BELONGS TO A BANK… OR SOMETHING.

– _Kaito Shion, Gakupo Kamui and 6 others liked this_

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**Luka Megurine:** That is the worst metaphor I have heard. _Ever._

– _Rin Kagamine, Len Kagamine and 2 others liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine:** WHAT IS THIS SORCERY

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**Rin Kagamine:** You guys _suck._ I mean, SERIOUSLY. HAVEN'T I ESTABLISHED THAT LEN AND I ARE RELATED (AND TECHNICALLY THAT A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN US IS ILLEGAL ACCORDING TO THE GOVERNMENT)? AND THAT I DON'T LIKE HIM IN THAT WAY? Gross, guys, gross.

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**Len Kagamine:** Oh, finally. About time the night fury came to resolve this post.

– _Kaito Shion, Gakupo Kamui and Luka Megurine liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine:** COME BACK HERE, TENTACLES. WE HAVE SERIOUS BRAWLING TO DO. AND LEN, I AM NOT A DRAGON. STOP SAYING THAT.

– _Miku Hatsune, Len Kagamine and Rin Kagamine liked this_

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**Luka Megurine:** Don't call me Tentacles.

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**Miku Hatsune:** Tentacle hair. C:

– _Rin Kagamine liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine:** THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS, KIDS, THAT I'M NOT COMING BECAUSE I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN INCEST. It is illegal, and our parents will not hesitate to murder us both and throw our corpses into the Pacific Ocean if they catch us doing it. Goodnight.

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**Len Kagamine:** You forgot the part where it's only incest when the reprobates are blood-related.

– _Miku Hatsune, Luka Megurine and 3 others liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine:** _Why._

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_Logging out…_

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::..::

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**You have received a text message from Onion-face Miku.**

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**To: **Rin; Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From: **Onion-face Miku

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:09AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:10AM

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WHAAAAAAAAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO, GOT TO DO WITH IT

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**To: **Onion-face Miku

**From: **Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:11AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:12AM

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One in the morning, Miku. One in the _morning_. Is this really necessary?

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**To:** Onion-face Miku; Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:13AM

**Received: **13/1/13 1:13AM

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WHAT'S THIS GOT TO DO WITH _LOVE…?_

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**To: **Rin; Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From: **Onion-face Miku

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:15AM

**Received: **13/1/13 1:16AM

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GET ON FACEBOOK, NERDS. WE HAVE A KARAOKE SESSION TO DISCUSS.

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**To: **Onion-face Miku; Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From: **Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:16AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:18AM

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NO. YOU GUYS ARE HORRIBLE AND I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP, SO LEAVE ME ALONE.

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::..::

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**You have received a text message from Miku H.**

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**To: **Len

**From: **Miku H

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:20AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:21AM

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It's okay. She'll come around eventually.

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**To: **Miku H

**From: **Len

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:22AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:22AM

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Eventually, you say. _Eventually._

Eventually = the act of Rin not doing it. Ever. Good luck.

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**To: **Len

**From: **Miku H

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:23AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:24AM

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_Good luck?_ Why are you wishing _me_ good luck? She's _your_ future wife, Len.

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**To: **Miku H

**From: **Len

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:25AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:25AM

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_You're_ the one who's planning this. Not me.

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**To: **Len

**From: **Miku H

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:27AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:27AM

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Pshhbbbbbbbltptptppfffft. Poppycock. I know you want this. I KNOW. Miku knows all. I know your secret desires. Don't try to deny me, Lenny-boy, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WANT HER IN YOUR PANTS.

MUAGHWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

AHAHAHAH.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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**To: **Miku H

**From: **Len

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:30AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:31AM

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I… I'm going to bed, now. Goodnight, Miku.

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**You have received a text message from Len My Ugly Stepbrother.**

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**To: **Rin

**From: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 13/1/13 1:35AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 1:36AM

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If Miku mentions anything about 'pants', 'knowing', you and my secret desires, just ignore her. Please.

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From: **Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 8:50AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 8:50AM

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Um… okay.

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::..::

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**A/N;** Oh, sarcasm, weirdness and all-caps are so much fun to put together in one, big, random story. :')

Anyway, to some of those who are wondering, _yes_—this is inspired by 'You Have Mail' by Amaryne (and I suggest you _really_ go and check it out, because it's _tons_ better than mine)—and _no_, I am not going to steal the plot. Stealing a plot is just NOT COOL, guys, NOT COOL. In fact, I don't think this even has a legitimate plot.

Stuff will just happen. Arbitrarily. Yes, I know, I'm disorganised. The aim of the game in this story is to get Rin and Len together so they can fall in love-love and play roley-poley in the grass meadows. The end.

But anyhoot, I recommend all of Amaryne's stories by like, ten hundred per cent, because her stories are amazing and she needs to update more often. I mean, if you go flood her with loving reviews, she might just update, and then everyone will be happy, yeah? (Actually, now I'm sounding a bit like a hypocrite. I actually need to review and show my support a bit more, too.)

So this sucks, I'm bored and I love reviews. So flame me, critique me or just… do whatever. TELL ME A LAME JOKE. I'm a sucker for those things.

**DISCLAIMED. Since there are a lot of things I don't own in this that don't fall into the 'Vocaloid Fan-fiction' category. c':**

'**What's Love Got to Do with It' belongs to Tina Turner and… that… record company… thingy… (IN OTHER WORDS, I DON'T OWN IT. PSH.)**


	2. Sunlight, shellfish and oreos

**A/N;** **OKAY, so XxpandalovexX brought up the issue that the formatting for this fan-fiction is actually against the rules and that I should probably remove it before FF does it instead. **Thank you for letting me know that, and I'm really sorry your fan-fiction was deleted because of these terms! (I think this rule is a load of buttcrap, but alright/I guess it's not exactly a fan-fiction, but to be honest, there's literally NO WHERE else dedicated to fan-fictions and fan-fictions only with the Vocaloid category. Or what I know of, so I don't have any place else to post this... thing.)

_**Just so everyone is aware**_**, I won't be removing it, whether or not it breaks rules. **Why? Because I really enjoy typing this up and I want to share it with people so they can enjoy it too—not to mention, I see PLENTY of other fan-fictions get away with breaking the rules and I've seen several actually with this format in it (including Amaryne's fan-fiction, too—don't ask why that hasn't been deleted. Obviously FF likes her story xD I do too, and I don't want it to be deleted, either)—so I don't see why _I_ shouldn't get away with it, either. If it's against 's rules, _okay_, I understand—and if it gets reported and deleted—I also understand. If my account is removed, well, that's my fault then for being stubborn, isn't it? So I'm going to keep updating until it does get deleted—(and if it doesn't, yay)—because it keeps me amused and I love to hear your feedback on my story.

**Oh, and if someone is going to report this, I hope you get PLENTY brownie points from the staff or whatever. Heck, I don't even know if you can report it(?), but okeydokey—whatever makes the sun shine in your life.**

Thanks for who shared their jokes. You made me smile :)

And another big thanks to all who reviewed (critiqued, flamed), faved and/or followed the last chapter. I send my everlasting love _to you_. No, seriously. Thank you!

(On a side note, this was typed up straight after the first chapter, during the period of time where I had no internet available. So I waited a bit to post this; since I don't like spam-posting.)

SORRY FOR THE LONG A/N! I try to keep them short, but that just got long. ugh.

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**You have received a text message from Mummy Kagamine.**

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Mummy Kagamine

**Sent: **13/1/13 9:52AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 9:53AM

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Rin, honey, the sun is shining and the birds are tweeting, and it's nice and warm… why don't you come outside and sit with your amazing stepbrother, Len, and your awesome mother for a while? :)

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**To: **Mummy Kagamine

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 9:55AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 9:56AM

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I'm uh, allergic to sunlight… So, no thanks.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Mummy Kagamine

**Sent: **13/1/13 9:59AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:00AM

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Oh, was it just me or did the sun go behind a cloud? I guess you'll have to come outside now.

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**To: **Mummy Kagamine

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:01AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:01AM

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I'm also allergic to other humans and basically the whole outside world. Yeah, so to avoid death, I'm going to pass.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Mummy Kagamine

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:03AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:03AM

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Well I just sent your best friend up to get you out of bed. Too bad.

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**To: **Mummy Kagamine

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:04AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:05AM

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Wait, which best friend?

OH NO YOU DIDN'T SEND LE

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Mummy Kagamine

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:06AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:06AM

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Love you, hun xx

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**To: **Tentacles

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:26AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:27AM

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Help me, Tentacles. They're making me _garden_.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Tentacles

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:30AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:32AM

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Don't call me Tentacles.

And who's making you garden?

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**To: **Don't-call-me-Tentacles

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:39AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:40AM

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My mother and Len. They've both ganged up on me and are torturing me as you read this. BY MAKING ME PLANT SWEET POTATO. _SWEET POTATO._ I HATE SWEET POTATOES. My family is awful.

Mum even sent Len to my room to wake me up this morning AND HE JUMPED ON ME. I NEARLY DIED. Despite his scrawniness, he weighs as much as a hippo. I swear he broke one of my ribs.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Don't-call-me-Tentacles

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:44AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:44AM

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Oh, poor Rin. She's always being mistreated by her family.

I'll leave you to bask in your self-pity alone now.

…And to garden with that stepbrother of yours. ;) Remember: If it's not on, it's not on.

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**To: **Don't-call-me-Tentacles

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:52AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:53AM

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OMG

YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND LIKE, EVER. How could you do this to me? _Why_, Luka, _why?_

SHIT I GOT DIRT ON MY PHO

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**To: **Don't-call-me-Tentacles

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:53AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:53AM

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*PHONE

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**You have received a text message from Mummy Kagamine.**

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**To: **Rin; Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Mummy Kagamine

**Sent: **13/1/13 10:54AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 10:55AM

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Stop texting love letters to each other or I'll defenestrate the computer modem.

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**To: **Mummy Kagamine

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 11:01AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 11:02AM

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WHAT. LOVE LETTERS. _WHAT._ ARE YOU CRAZY?

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**To: **Rin; Mummy Kagamine

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent: **13/1/13 11:00AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 11:00AM

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HA. HAHAHAHA. _HA. _Rin's face just then was the best thing I've ever seen. I wish I took a photo of it.

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 11:06AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 11:06AM

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SHUT UP, BUTTCHIN.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent: **13/1/13 11:10AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 11:11AM

.

OKAY, CUTTING BOARD CHEST. OKAY. Go back to planting your sweet potatoes. I want heaps to grow so I can eat them all IN FRONT OF YOU. AT THE DINNER TABLE. AND WATCH YOU GAG.

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 11:23AM

**Received: **13/1/13 11:24AM

.

SINCE WHEN DID _YOU_ LIKE SWEET POTATOES? AND NO. I'm going to go get a glass of water.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent: **13/1/13 11:25AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 11:25AM

.

SINCE… A WHILE AG-

Wait, was it me or did a black square-thing just fall out of the upstairs window and into the pond?

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 11:27AM

**Received:** 13/1/13 11:28AM

.

SHIT. I THINK THAT WAS THE MOD-

… YES IT WAS THE MODEM.

DAMN IT, MUM.

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::..::

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**You have received a text message from Onion-face Miku.**

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**To: **Rin; Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Onion-face Miku

**Sent: **13/1/13 2:34PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 2:36PM

.

GET YOUR HIDEOUS, WRINKLY ASSES ON FACEBOOK _NOW_, BLONDIE DOPPELGANGERS. WE NEED TO DISCUSS KARAOKE.

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**To:** Onion-face Miku

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 2:37PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 2:38PM

.

_NO._ Firstly, I will not go to karaoke. _SECONDLY, _MY MOTHER KILLED THE INTERNET. SO YOU CAN SUCK ON MY HIDEOUS, WRINKLY, BLONDE ASS.

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**To:** Miku H

**From:** Len

**Sent:** 13/1/13 2:39PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 2:40PM

.

Uh, that's kind of impossible, since Rin's mother chucked the flip and defenestrated the internet modem. And I suggest you leave Rin alone, because she's having a meltdown over it.

Like, she almost put her phone in the toaster just before and asked if she could paint my toenails rainbow. In which, Rin never does.

Yeah.

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**To:** Len

**From:** Miku H

**Sent:** 13/1/13 2:43PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 2:45PM

.

Oh… okay.

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**To:** Rin; Len My Ugly Stepbrother; Don't-call-me-Tentacles; Gaypoo; Kaitoad

**From:** Onion-face Miku

**Sent:** 13/1/13 2:48PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 2:52PM

.

MINIONS; CRYPTON'S – 4:00. _TODAY._

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**To:** Onion-face Miku; Len My Ugly Stepbrother; Don't-call-me-Tentacles; Gaypoo; Kaitoad

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 2:54PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 2:58PM

.

NO.

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**To:** miku hatsune; len kagamine; luka megurine; gakupo kamui

**From:** kaito

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:00PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:03PM

.

what's _her_ problem?

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**To:** Miku Hatsune; Len Kagamine; Kaito Shion; My Darling Luka

**From: **Gakupo

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:05PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:07PM

.

It must simply be that time of month again~ ^_^

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**To:** Gakupo; Miku; Len; Kaito

**From:** Luka

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:08PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:10PM

.

No, Gakupo. Just… _no_.

Actually, Rin's mother apparently threw their internet-thing out the window and it drowned in the pond. And we all know Rin can't live without her daily dose of porn, because she's such a naughty girl.

—Aren't we right, Lenny? I'm sure you've experienced it a lot in bed.

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**To:** Lenny; Gakupo; Kai-Kai; Tentacles

**From: **Miku

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:11PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:12PM

.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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**To: **Lenny; Gakupo; Kai-Kai; Tentacles

**From:** Miku

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:12PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:12PM

.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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**To:** Lenny; Gakupo; Kai-Kai; Tentacles

**From:** Miku

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:13PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:15PM

.

HAHAHAHA…

Oh Tentacles, I love you. I give you permission to have my children.

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**To:** Miku; Gakupo; Len; Kaito

**From:** Luka

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:18PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:19PM

.

I love you too, Miku, when you don't call me Tentacles.

And I'm honoured to have such… a privilege.

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**To:** Miku H; Gakupo K; Kaito S; Luka M

**From:** Len

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:23PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:25PM

.

…Okay.

If Rin saw that, she would die. Literally.

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**To:** Lenny; Gakupo; Kai-Kai; Tentacles

**From:** Miku

**Sent:** 13/1/13 3:30PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 3:34PM

.

ANYWAY, MINIONS, CRYPTON'S – 4:30 NOW. TODAY. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE. Oh and Len, try to get Rin to come too.

.

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::..::

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**You have received a text message from Len My Ugly Stepbrother.**

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 13/1/13 4:45PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 4:46PM

.

WOW. THIS CAKE IS SO DELICIOUS.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 13/1/13 4:59PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 4:59PM

.

OMG. THIS ORANGE AND CHAMOMILE TEA IS AMAZING.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 13/1/13 5:12PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 5:13PM

.

WHOA. THOSE BARISTA BOYS ARE _HOT._

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 5:16PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 5:16PM

.

Oh, Len. I never knew you were gay.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 13/1/13 5:18PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 5:19PM

.

FINALLY, YOU REPLIED.

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 5:23PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 5:24PM

.

Oh goody. Now that you got my reply, can you stop spamming my inbox? Thank you.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent: **13/1/13 5:29PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 5:29PM

.

You know, I still have bite marks in my arm from you.

And Miku said hi.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent: **13/1/13 5:34PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 5:35PM

.

I guess I won't save half of my chocolate chip muffin for you to eat tonight. I'll give it to Kaito, then.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent: **13/1/13 5:56PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 5:56PM

.

I just saw this really cute phone charm in a shop window—it was an orange. But you know what? I'm going to buy it…

…for Megumi. :)

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 5:59PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:00PM

.

Dear dork-face,

I don't really care what you do.

Sincerely, your ever-loving stepsister who has found your secret stash of Oreo biscuits, Rin :)

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent: **13/1/13 6:05PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:07PM

.

One question: _How?_

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 6:09PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:10PM

.

It's my secret knack for tracking Oreos anywhere, anytime.

No, you suck at hiding things. AND I NOTICED THOSE CRUMBS IN THE KITCHEN SINK THE OTHER DAY. AND AROUND YOUR MOUTH.

…Not that I stare at your mouth or anything… because that's just gross.

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**To: **Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent: **13/1/13 6:11PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:11PM

.

WHAT. BUT. I HID THEM BEHIND THE SULTANAS. AND YOU NEVER GO NEAR THE SULTANAS.

OR ANYTHING THAT LOOKS ROUND AND BLACK FOR THE MATTER. _HOW?_

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 6:14PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:15PM

.

Found them! Yay, thank you Len. You're the best stepbrother ever.

—Totally not shellfish and hogging all the Oreos to yourself.

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**To: **Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent: **13/1/13 6:15PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:15PM

.

I mean, selfish. Not shellfish.

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 6:20PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:21PM

.

Mm… these are so yum, yum, yummy.

They belong in my tummy :)

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 6:25PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:26PM

.

I have a hair follicle on my finger… I'm not sure whether it's an eyelash, an eyebrow hair or pubic hair. But I think I'll leave it for you on the top Oreo biscuit as a present, showing my gratitude and love for your generosity.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Kaitoad

**Sent:** 13/1/13 6:30PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:31PM

.

whatever you did, you successfully made your brother cry.

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**To:** Kaitoad

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 6:35PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:37PM

.

*_Step_brother.

Oh, and really? I feel quite proud of myself. The last time I saw him cry was when he first started playing his Pokémon Black game.

By the way, don't tell him I swapped the Oreo packet for Jatz and re-hid the Oreos elsewhere ;)

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 13/1/13 6:43PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:45PM

.

Don't get cocky just yet. Just to let you know, I smacked myself in the face while trying to open a can of soda and thus triggered a waterfall of tears to spill from my eyes. I don't cry over food.

AND I DIDN'T CRY OVER THE POKÉMON GAME. I TOLD YOU, I HAD SERIOUS HAY FEVER THAT MORNING.

Oh, by the way, thanks for the hint. I'll check your underwear drawer first when I get home.

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**To:** Kaitoad

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 13/1/13 6:47PM

**Received:** 13/1/13 6:48PM

.

You're going to be so sorry you'll wish you'd never been born.

I MEAN IT, STUPID BLUE-HAIRED BEHEMOTH. I HOPE YOU FALL OFF A BRIDGE AND DIE, KAITOAD. AND THEN YOU GET GANG-RAPED. AND THEN YOU GET STUCK IN A NEVER-ENDING LOOP OF HISTORY WHERE YOU WATCH MIKU FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER MAN THAT IS NOT YOU EVERY TIME.

Love, Rin.

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::..::

* * *

**A/N;** Defenestrate = to throw something out a window. I try to use this word in any given situation, because it is _awesome_.

"_SHE DEFENESTRATED MY BROTHER!" _

…Yeah.


	3. Birds, secret dates and goats

**A/N;** Hi guys!

Thank you for the support and going out of your way to show it by favouriting, following and reviewing! I love seeing your reviews since you make me smile hahaha;;;

Here's chapter three ;)

(On the contrary, I won't be able to update for a while, so I tried to get this out as soon as possible, so you won't have to wait another six hundred years for the third chapter. I'll try to update as soon as possible/when I can!)

* * *

::..::

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**To:** Onion-face Miku

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:03PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:04PM

.

MIKU.

I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH LEN.

HE'S SQUAWKING AT THE BIRDS IN THE TREES.

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**To:** Onion-face Miku

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:06PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:06PM

.

Wait, maybe he _is_ a bird and he might grow wings and fly away.

Oh, that's great. He won't go into my underwear drawers anymore and I won't have to pull his leg hair.

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**To:** Onion-face Miku

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:10PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:11PM

.

Now he's run off somewhere, saying he's hungry.

And I'm standing in the park, looking like a loner.

All alone.

In a park.

_Alone_.

I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHERE HE IS. HELP.

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**To:** Onion-face Miku

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:16PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:17PM

.

MIKU, ARE YOU IGNORING ME?

MIKU, DON'T IGNORE ME. DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING.

I LOVE YOU MIKU. I'M SORRY IF I DID ANYTHING WRONG. I'M SORRY FOR BEING AWESOME.

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**To:** Onion-face Miku

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:23PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:24PM

.

FINE THEN. BE THAT WAY.

HMMPH.

LEN JUST CAME BACK, SO I'LL BE HAVING MY ICE-CREAM WITH HIM NOW. BECAUSE HE'S MY NEW BEST FRIEND.

MY BIRD-FRIEND. OR WHATEVER.

AND THEN WE ARE GOING TO GO SHOPPING TOGETHER AND WE'RE GOING TO GO INTO SUPRÉ AND TRY ON LOTS OF CLOTHES. BECAUSE WE ARE LIKE, JUST THAT CLOSE.

TTYL, BITCH.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Onion-face Miku

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:38PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:40PM

.

Oh what? Rin, I was just having a shower.

…And Supré? _Really_, Rin? I thought you said that store is for sluts.

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**To:** Miku H

**From:** Len

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:45PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:46PM

.

Rin said she isn't talking to you.

And she also mentioned something about 'showering' and 'doing Kaito'.

I'm assuming you know what she means?

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Onion-face Miku

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:49PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:49PM

.

WHAT.

I WASN'T WITH KAITO.

IN THE _SHOWER._

HE'S AT HIS GRANDMOTHER'S FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK. YOU SICK, SICK LITTLE GIRL.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THINK THAT WAY.

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**To:** Len

**From:** Miku H

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:52PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:53PM

.

WAIT A MINUTE.

You're with _Rin_. At the _park_.

Do I smell a date here? ARE YOU TWO FINALLY GOING OUT?

BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, I WILL _SO_ BE PLANNING YOUR WEDDING.

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**To:** Miku H

**From:** Len

**Sent:** 15/1/13 3:56PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 3:56PM

.

PSH, WE AREN'T ON A DATE. GOSH MIKU, LIKE WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

I mean, _shhhh._ Yes we are, but I asked her out indirectly by making her think we're going to buy Rin's Mum's birthday present.

Rin would actually burn me alive if she knew my plans.

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**To:** Len

**From:** Miku H

**Sent:** 15/1/13 4:00PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 4:00PM

.

OH MY GOD. _OH MY GOD_. THAT'S SO CUTE.

YOU ARE SO ADORABLE WHEN YOU'RE ROMANTIC, LEN. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY RIN HAS TO DENY THE TRUTH SO MUCH, CONSIDERING YOU'RE SO SWEET.

I'M SURE SHE'LL COME AROUND SOON, THOUGH.

I wish you luck on your date, guvnor.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Onion-face Miku

**Sent:** 15/1/13 4:02PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 4:03PM

.

RIN, MAKE SURE YOU WEAR PROTECTION WHEN THINGS START GETTING HEATED.

OTHERWISE YOUR EGGS WILL GET BAKED.

TRUE STORY.

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**To:** Onion-face Miku

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 15/1/13 4:07PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 4:08PM

.

MIKU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE IMPLYING, BUT IT SOUNDS AWFULLY SUSPICIOUS.

IF YOU'RE IMPLYING TO MY UTERUS, THEN I WILL NOT HESITATE TO STAB YOU.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Onion-face Miku

**Sent:** 15/1/13 4:10PM

**Received:** 15/1/13 4:10PM

.

OH YAY. THE ICE-QUEEN HAS GIVEN HER RESPONSE!

(I LOAF YOU TOO, RINNY ;D)

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::..::

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**Welcome to Facebook!**

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Email: rin-the-bomb-diggs

Password: RINISAWESOME2712

**Log in**

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_Logging in…_

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**Update your status**

_How are you feeling today, Rin?_

.

LEN'S DAD IS OFFICIALLY AMAZING.

**Post**

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_Posting status__…_

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**Len Kagamine and Miku Hatsune liked your status.**

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**Len Kagamine and Miku Hatsune commented on your status.**

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**Rin Kagamine:** LEN'S DAD IS OFFICIALLY AMAZING.

– _Len Kagamine and Miku Hatsune liked this_

(Posted 6 minutes ago)

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**Miku Hatsune:** YAY YOU'RE ONLINE! But _how?_

.

**Len Kagamine:** We convinced my dad that we were going to die without internet so he bought us a new modem.

– _Rin Kagamine liked this_

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**Miku Hatsune:** YAY FOR LEN'S DAD!

– _Rin Kagamine and Len Kagamine liked this_

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**Meiko Sakine:** I AM BACK FROM MY HOLLERDAY FROM HOLLAYWOOD BITCHES. LOOK OUT, 'CAUSE MUMMY MEIKO IS BACK IN TOWN.

– _Rin Kagamine, Miku Hatsune and 52 others liked this_

(Posted 52 minutes ago)

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**Gakupo Kamui:** *holiday *Hollywood *because

– _Rin Kagamine, Luka Megurine and 15 others liked this_

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**Meiko Sakine:** CAN WE NOT, LIKE, TRAMPLE ACROSS MY AMAZING STATUS WITH FAG ATTITUDE, GAKUPO? Please take your grammar-naziness and put it elsewhere.

– _Miku Hatsune, Kaito Shion and 5 others liked this_

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**Luka Megurine:** Nobody likes you, Meiko. Go back to where you came from.

– _Rin Kagamine, Gakupo Kamui and 18 others liked this_

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**Miku Hatsune:** OHHHHH THE BURN.

– _Luka Megurine, Rin Kagamine and 11 others liked this_

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**Len Kagamine:** Meiko: 0 Luka: 1

– _Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune and 2 others liked this_

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**Len Kagamine posted on your wall.**

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**Len Kagamine – Rin Kagamine:** Next time you decide walking around the house naked, please be sure that no one else is around.

Sincerely,

Someone who doesn't want to see your non-existent boobs

– _Miku Hatsune, Luka Megurine and 10 others liked this_

(Posted an hour ago)

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**Rin Kagamine: **WHAT.

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**Miku Hatsune:** Len, that isn't how you pick up girls.

– _Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune and 3 others liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine:** I AM A B-CUP, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

– _Miku Hatsune liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine: **And you were home then? Yet you didn't bother _telling_ me?

I'LL GRIND YOUR BRAINS DOWN TO SHIT, LEN. I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND ROAST YOU LIKE A CHRISTMAS TURKEY. AND THEN I WILL THROW YOU OVER A CLIFF ATTACHED TO AN ANVIL.

I HOPE YOU END UP BLIND FOREVER. THEN YOU CAN NEVER SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S NAKED BODY. _HA._

– _Kaito Shion, Miku Hatsune and 2 others liked this_

.

**Len Kagamine:** I've already seen my girlfriend's naked body ;)

– _Kaito Shion, Luka Megurine and 6 others liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine:** …You're dead to me.

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**Len Kagamine: **WAIT NO WAIT RIN I'M SOR

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**Miku Hatsune:** R.I.P. Len Kagamine, 1996-2013. Still, and forever, a virgin.

– _Meiko Sakine, Kaito Shion and 8 others liked this_

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**You have received an email from miku-is-fabulous010101.**

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**To:** Kagamine-len27

**From:** miku-is-fabulous010101.

**Subject:** DATE

.

OH MY GOD. I'M SO SORRY. I FORGOT, BUT HOW DID YOUR SECRET-YET-NOT-SO-SECRET DATE WITH RIN GO?

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**To:** miku-is-fabulous010101

**From:** Kagamine-len27

**Subject:** RE: DATE

.

Oh… _that_. Um, yeah… it went fine… _ish_.

Until she got her hands on my phone and saw those texts between the two of us—then she dumped her drink over my head and walked off.

It was really awkward and embarrassing after that because we had to catch the bus back home together.

She kinda won't talk to me now. Especially not after the Facebook incident about her being naked… and stuff.

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**To:** Kagamine-len27

**From:** miku-is-fabulous010101

**Subject:** RE: RE: DATE

.

Aw Lenny-boo-boo-kins. I'm sure she was just really ecstatic about the date and stuff that she didn't know how to react. You know how Rin gets.

…And that Facebook thing… wasn't cool.

It wasn't cool at _all_.

I can't pity you over that. Like, you killed it this time. You kind of started driving for your own suicide there.

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**To:** miku-is-fabulous010101

**From:** Kagamine-len27

**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: DAT

.

…I know.

Yeah.

So… um, I think we established she hates me at the moment.

Like… I don't even think she likes me, you know? I'm all like, 'LET ME LOVE YOU' and she's like, 'NO STFU BITCH GO GET HIT BY A CAR.'

And so I don't think she actually feels anything about me.

I think she's being pretty serious about this incest thing and all that and it's driving me nuts.

It's dinnertime so I have to go offline now.

Bye Miku.

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**To:** Luka-Megurine

**From:** miku-is-fabulous010101

**Subject:** FW: RE: RE: RE: DA

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LUKA THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

…That's what Len said—_typed_, I mean.

Do you think he could be… you know, _right_ about this? WHAT HAPPENS IF WE'VE HAD THIS WRONG ALL ALONG?

AND RIN ACTUALLY LIKES SOME PAEDOPHILE ON THE STREET CORNER?

WHAT DO WE DO LUKA?! WE'VE TRIED TO CONVINCE LEN TO BE HONEST ABOUT HIS FEELINGS, BUT NOW I THINK WE'VE JUST BROKEN HIS HEART.

OH NO.

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**To:** miku-is-fabulous010101

**From:** Luka-Megurine

**Subject:** RE: FW: RE: RE: RE: D

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Relax Miku. Hyperventilation won't get you far.

Maybe it's just all a misunderstanding. I mean, about the Rin-liking-Len thing.

But we can fix that. We'll just make Len seem like her ideal-prince-on-a-white-horse. I mean, it's not like Len's bad looking or anything.

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**To:** Luka-Megurine

**From:** miku-is-fabulous010101

**Subject:** RE: RE: FW: RE: RE: RE:

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WHAT. BUT I _SWEAR_ RIN LIKES LEN. OR LIKED HIM. I SWEAR UPON MY SHINY SOUL.

I mean, remember that time in middle school, when she was talking about meeting him on their parent's third date? She was like, "Actually, Len's kind of cute." AND SHE WAS _GIGGLING_. AND _BLUSHING_. LIKE A FANGIRL, OBVIOUSLY.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO?

WHAT HAPPENS IF SHE WAS JUST TROLLING US?

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE.

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**To:** miku-is-fabulous010101

**From:** Luka-Megurine

**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: FW: RE: RE:

.

Well, you have a point there—except, I don't think Rin would go that far into tricking us she liked someone.

Actually, have your ever noticed how awkward Rin acts around Len when he starts (or _tries_) to flirt with her? I think she _does_ like him, but can't bring herself to the terms he likes her too in the same way, since he's such an idiot.

And she does have _pretty low_ self-confidence. Like, she missed the photo day last year because of a _pimple_ on her _chin_.

We might need to try making Len seem like a hero to her, so then she confesses her undying love for him.

And then you will leave me alone when I'm trying to watch soap operas.

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**To:** Luka-Megurine

**From:** miku-is-fabulous010101

**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: RE:

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…Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that.

WELL ANYWAY. LET'S GET DOWN TO SOME PLOTTING BUSINESS.

I INTRODUCE TO YOU: PROJECT MAKE-RIN-ADMIT-HER-FEELINGS-TO-LEN (ver. 0.2)

I'LL SEND YOU MY FANTASTIC PLANS IN ANOTHER EMAIL.

You better read it, bitch.

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::..::

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**You have received a text message from Len My Ugly Stepbrother.**

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 16/1/13 5:36AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 5:36AM

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RIN, I'M SORRY.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 16/1/13 5:48AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 5:48AM

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PLEASE TALK TO ME, RIN. I SAID I'M SORRY AND I REALLY AM.

I'M SORRY. D:

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 16/1/13 5:53AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 5:54AM

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I KNOW YOU'RE AWAKE.

DON'T IGNORE ME, RIN.

I'M SORRY.

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**To:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**From:** Rin

**Sent:** 16/1/13 5:57AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 5:57AM

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STOP TEXTING ME OR I'LL CUT YOU.

AND I GET IT ALREADY.

OKAY.

FINE.

WHATEVER.

YOU'VE APOLOGISED LIKE TEN TIMES TO ME IN THE LAST THREE HOURS.

NO WONDER I'M AWAKE, DOUCHE BAG.

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**To:** Rin

**From:** Len My Ugly Stepbrother

**Sent:** 16/1/13 6:01AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 6:01AM

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…I'm sorry D:

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**You have received a new message from My Stepmother.**

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**To:** Len

**From:** My Stepmother

**Sent:** 16/1/13 6:34AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 6:35AM

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Oh, I would love a cup of tea, thank you. :)

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**To:** My Stepmother

**From:** Len

**Sent:** 16/1/13 6:36AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 6:36AM

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I'm not in the kitchen.

I'm still in bed.

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**To:** Len

**From:** My Stepmother

**Sent:** 16/1/13 6:37AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 6:37AM

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Oh, sure you are, Len.

Look to your left.

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**To:** My Stepmother

**From:** Len

**Sent:** 16/1/13 6:37AM

**Received:** 16/1/13 6:38AM  
.

HOLY-

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::..::

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**Welcome to Facebook!**

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Email: rin-the-bomb-diggs

Password: RINISAWESOME2712

**Log in**

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_Logging in…_

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**Miku Hatsune has invited you to an event: Dark Forest ^_^**

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**Dark Forest ^_^**

(Being held on 20/1/13, 5:30PM at 'that creepy forest next to our school'.)

GUISE, _GUISE_. OKAY, SO BEFORE WE GO BACK TO SCHOOL, LET'S ALL GO TO THE DARK FOREST THING. YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE APPARENTLY THAT CHICK COMMITTED SUICIDE AND HER GHOST FOREVER HAUNTS THE PLACE? YEAH. THAT ONE. JUST FOR FUN AND STUFF. We'll be going in pairs. AND I SHALL ARRANGE THEM. MWUAHAHAHAHA.

Anyone who chickens out will have to make out Len Kagamine. No if's or but's. :)

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**Len Kagamine – Dark Forest ^_^ (Event):** Why do they have to kiss _me?_

(Posted 2 hours ago)

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**Miku Hatsune:** BECAUSE I SAID SO.

– _Luka Megurine, Meiko Sakine and 3 others liked this_

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**Facebook Chat (1)**

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_Miku:_ PSST. LEN, IT'S PART OF MY PLAN TO GET RIN TO ADMIT HER UNDYING LOVE FOR YOU.

SHE'S AFRAID OF GHOSTS. SHE'LL EXPECT YOU TO BE HER WHITE KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR.

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_Len:_ Oh, okay. As long as I don't have to make out with someone as creepy as Gakupo or anything.

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**Rin Kagamine – Dark Forest ^_^ (Event):** WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID OF GOATS.

– _Luka Megurine, Kaito Shion and 2 others liked this_

(Posted 6 minutes ago)

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**Rin Kagamine:** Sit. I mean ghosts. Stupid autocorrect on my phone.

– _Meiko Sakine, Len Kagamine and 3 others liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine: ***shot.

– _Miku Hatsune, Meiko Sakine and 5 others liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine:** WTF *SHIT. Jesus on a motorcycle. I'm disabling this autocorrect. It's a piece of sit.

– _Len Kagamine, Kaito Shion and 5 others liked this_

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**Miku Hatsune:** Well, you're either going to have to pucker up to Lenny-boy or tag along, dearie :)

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**Rin Kagamine:** FRUK YOU, BITCH. DON'T CALL ME DEARIE.

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**Len Kagamine:** Do you want cola-flavoured lip balm or Fanta-flavoured?

– _Miku Hatsune, Kaito Shion and 6 others liked this_

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**Rin Kagamine:** UGH FINE I'M GOING. AS LONG AS YOU DO NOTHING SNEAKY, ONION-FACE.

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**Miku Hatsune:** Oh, never. Why would I do something sneaky, Rinny? 8)

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**Rin Kagamine:** This event reeks of fish. That's why.

– _Meiko Sakine, Luka Megurine and 2 others liked this_

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**Facebook Chat**

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_Len:_ So, if she's coming… what do I do now?

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_Miku:_ Oh, you'll see… ;)

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::..::

* * *

**A/N;** Happy New Year, by the way :)

And let me know what you think, please.


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